


You should've gone home

by LeftoverFT



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Sad Eridan lol, Sadstuck, crappy dadscar, hes always busy lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-27
Updated: 2016-10-27
Packaged: 2018-08-27 09:02:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8395621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeftoverFT/pseuds/LeftoverFT
Summary: You knew you should've just gone home.





	

You took a deep breath. You could do this, you knew you could. You were an Ampora, you had to be able to do this, if you didn't, you knew your dad would be disappointed.

Even Cronus had a boyfriend, but you were still single. Single and nearing the end of high school. You had to do this, it was now or never.

You had had a girlfriend before, sure, but this was different. You had only dated Feferi for a month, and that was in middle school. Thinking about the girl always made your stomach twist and gave you a headache, so you stopped thinking about her.

You could feel your heart pounding, it vibrated all over your person. It felt like when you'd wake up from a nightmare, shaking, heart pounding hard enough to rattle your bed, and sweat coated over you.

You took another deep breath, you could do this. You had liked him for a year or so now, and you had been trying to ask him out for awhile now. The only problem being his answer, you knew you had a slim chance with anyone at this school.

After the break up with Feferi, and then the incident where you had tried to persuade her to get back with you, people starting marking you as a desperate whore. They labeled you a slut and an annoying prick. They all thought that all your future held was a crappy porno gig, that they'd be seeing you on adult websites.

You were probably going to die with the title Amporna on you.

You hadn't let it really get to you, you knew your truth, and they could believe theirs.

The only problem they brought was making everyone wary of you. Even your crush. You exhaled a shaky breath and continued towards his locker.

You weren't the closest, but he was nicer to you than the rest of the lot. Well most of the rest of the lot, Tavros and Gamzee were decent company.

You had actually taken some advise from Tavros. He had told you to meet up with Karkat at his locker and ask to walk home with him. Then tell him about your crush on him as you walked home. It sounded easy enough when he had told you about it at lunch.

You weren't so sure now, now all you wanted to do was go home. Maybe read a classic book. Lord of The Flies sounded good right about now.

As you neared Karkat's locker, you noticed Sollux was talking to him. You'd have to wait until he'd leave, no way you could ask Karkat to walk home with you without Sollux getting in the way.

The two looked so casual together, easily conversing, small smiles, lots of snarky laughter. You wanted to go home even more now. Karkat would be better with someone like Sollux, someone who can make him laugh, someone who doesn't feel like a weight that needs to be carried. Someone who wasn't like you.

Maybe you could move far, far away? Maybe in another state you'd have chances with other people. Maybe you'd get married to some handsome blond, or someone who could appreciate music and the arts as much as you.

Too late to leave now, you were already here. You're an Ampora, you can do this. You watched Sollux leave, seeing Karkat wave bye to him. You stepped closer to him easily enough, resisting the urge to cough and catch his attention.

"Hey Kar," you tried, almost swearing when your voice wavered.

"Huh, oh, hi Eridan. What's got your panties in a twist?" Karkat shut his locker and turned to you.

You really wanted to leave. Wasn't Karkat with someone already? Wasn't he still going after Terezi or something? Can't you just quit for once instead of humiliating yourself once again?

You sigh and let out a small, nervous laugh. "Nothin much, just wondering if I could walk home with you?"

You wanted to swear and cuss up a storm, you couldn't believe yourself. Not only do you sound like an awkward eight year old, but you're also stumbling over your w's and v's again, you hadn't done that since seventh grade.

Karkat looked you up and down, humming loudly. "Okay, but don't expect to hang out at my house or something, I'm fucking busy."

You nodded and smiled, "of course." You had this in the bag, everything would be fine.

You had walked out with him, walking next to him as you headed towards his house. He started talking about his day, telling you about his classes and how boring they were.

You followed along, nodding and responding when needed. You went over what to say several times in your head. You could do this.

When Karkat had finished speaking and you had been walking in silence, you spoke up.

"Kar, I was wonderin about something," you started, watching your friend look over at you, "I was happening to wonder if maybe you'd like to date me?" You wanted to add something like, 'though only if you want too', or 'don't feel pressured to', but you couldn't when you saw the look on his face.

He looked stressed, like something he knew would happen finally did happen, and now he has to handle it all on his own. His face fell and he gnawed on his lip.

"Eridan, I'm already in a relationship," he told you, looking like he wanted to say more, but didn't.

You felt terrible, like someone had thrown rocks at your chest until you couldn't stand anymore because of all the pain.

"Oh."

Karkat coughed and looked away and everything felt so much worse. You wanted to go home. You wanted to sob, you wanted to tell your dad what happened and hope he'd help you for once, that he'd put down his work and hold you. You wanted Cronus to hug you and tell you it was okay, that you were tough and Karkat just wasn't the one for you.

But you can't just leave now. And your dad wouldn't stop working because of something as petty as your feelings, and Cronus wasn't here, he was away at his and his boyfriend's apartment. You were going to have to handle this alone.

It felt like even more rocks were thrown your way.

"That's okay, I shoulda know, I suppose. You are pretty popular, huh?" You tried to cover up your hurt, brushing off the rejection.

"Yea, I guess."

"Who with?" You couldn't help but ask. You knew you'd regret it, but curiosity was beating at the back of your mind, and you had to ask.

"What do you mean?"

"Who are you dating?"

Karkat shifted and looked over at you, and you wanted to curl up and never come near anyone ever again.

"Sollux," he told you, looking more uncomfortable. He must've been able to tell taut you were displeased with his answer.

The person who had stolen Feferi from you also stole Karkat too. You always had the best luck. You should go onto a game show.

You swallowed the lump in your throat and nodded. "Mhm. Well, here we are. I hope you and he are happy. I'll um, I'm sorry for makin this so uncomfortable. Hopefully we can still be friends and whatnot. I'll see you later or something?"

You stopped in front of Karkat's house and he nodded. "Yea, I'll see you later. Sorry, Eridan."

You nodded and turned around, eyes burning. You wanted to cry. You thought you could do this, but you can't, you never could. You should've gone home on the bus, should've sat at home alone and pretended to text your friends. Should've stayed alone and not have gone through with Tavros's plan.

You walked home, holding you jacket tightly with one hand. You were going to go home and sit alone for awhile. Maybe you'd skip school tomorrow.

You walked past the Captor's house, seeing a skateboard laying face down in the lawn. Why did you have to live so close to these two? You didn't want to see Sollux or Karkat right now.

You couldn't even find it in yourself to hate Sollux. He was better put together than you, it wasn't his fault that no matter what you did or how hard you tried, you couldn't get the partner of your dreams. He just had the looks, smarts, and skills. You had good looks depending on the day, you were smart in history and literature, but certain things in math and science still escaped you. Your only skill was swimming, and you hated swimming. Chlorine ruined your hair and burned your eyes. The ocean wasn't much better.

You didn't hate him, but you did admire him. You'd never be him, but if you were like him, life would be easier.

You hurried home, biting your lip and hoping your face wasn't as red and hot as it felt. When you came in, you silently passed your dads room and headed to your own.

You laid out on your bed and sighed. You couldn't cry. Amporas don't cry.

You could wait, so you did. You waited for everything to stop hurting, for your headache to go away, and for your eyes to stop watering. It took several hours, the events replaying in your head. It felt like middle school all over again.

You eventually gave up, you decided against forcing food down your throat and shoved off your clothes. You decided to have a hot bath, letting the steam loll you to sleep, heading to bed immediately afterwards.

As you lay in bed, you sniffle, you knew your chances were low, but it still hurt. Maybe one day you'd win. One day you'd be happy and with the person you like, and not alone in bed, listening to your dad talk on the phone to some business company you'd never heard of.

For now, you curled in on yourself, willing the pain in your chest and head to go away as you drifted off to sleep.


End file.
